" I can't wait until I never have to wake up without you again."


i love you, B. 

-Vayyyy-Cayyyyy


But really, y'all, I'm going on a vacation. It's much needed and I will be completely enjoying it the entire time!



Unfortunately, I haven't had time to have some blogs on the get go, so you'll be without me for a few days! 


I promise to update as soon as I get home 


xoxo

-the wonderful world of 20th birthdays and a new iPhone 

 

As I posted earlier this weekend, Sunday was my 20th birthday! It's pretty much a fact that to me, birthday's are a HUGE deal to me, and when I say huge deal, I mean tears could be shed if something goes wrong. And it's not even my birthday, it's everyones. I love planning things for people and making sure they have the best day ever. 


Anyways, normally my birthday seems to slip through the cracks. I've never really had anyone, aside from my two best friends, make a huge deal out of it. So when B decided to take it upon himself to try and make it great, I wasn't complaining!

Needless to say, it was a fantastic day, starting at midnight and ending at midnight. B and I rang in my birthday the same way we love to spend our days, laying in bed watching movies and talking about whatever comes into our heads. Midnight hit and he proceeded to serenade me with Happy Birthday. SO cute. 

Unfortunately, B had to work at 7am so our "late night" ended when we fell asleep shortly after midnight. I had lunch with my parents later during the day while I was waiting for him to get off work and after hours of waiting and waiting, he finally finished work and we were able to go enjoy a dinner at my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden! 

To put it in B's words " we feasted like the King and Queen we are!" We even managed to save a little room for cake and ice cream afterwards!! 

Of course after all that food, we were both exhausted. Our remedy? The Hunger Games and the Newsroom and sleep. 


I promise, we're only in our twenties! (I'm 20 and he's 22, turning 23 on September 18th!) 


To sum up the day, it was amazing and perfect, just like him. 

reason number 123492091248 why I love you, B. 

-guess who's a proud owner of an iPhone!!!!

This girl!!!!! Needless to say, this work of art has quickly become my baby. I'm already completely in love with it and am completely enthralled by all of the cool stuff you can do!


Oh, and you can play Jurassic Park Builder on it. Favorite app? I think so (:

-Social Sunday v.1

This is my first week participating in Social Sunday and the questions are all about the Internet! How fitting (; Also, check out the two amazing blogs who started this whole thing!  

1. What is the first website you log on to each day?

I actually have perpetual tabs open on my computer so I never really open one, but right now it's Amazon Instant Video, Blogger, Facebook, and Twitter. 

2. Give us some funny websites you visit that we need to know about

My boyfriend got me hooked on this one and I've always been a large fan of stumbleupon. 

3. Pinterest or Facebook? Why?

Both! I use them both for different reasons. obviously, seeing as one is a social network and one is a picture blog. But if I had to pick one, Facebook! All of my friends are gone across the country for school and it helps me keep in touch with them. 

4. Twitter or Instagram? Why?

Twitter. I don't have a cool enough phone to use Instagram ):

5. Favorite youtube video...post it!

Mishka, self explanatory. 

I also found this one on Pinterest the other day....SO cute!!!!

6. Biggest online pet peeve?

When people start online wars with people they don't know. We're not in high school anymore, kiddos. (Even if you are, online is not the place to call someone out for the things they do). 

HappyBirthday To ME!!!

-Happy Birthday To Me! 


It's finally here, one of my favorite days of the year.

it's my birthday birthday birthdayyyyy......


And even bigger news?


I'M FINALLY BE 20!!!

yep, that's right.



I feel like I'm getting so old.

-totally necessary

-furbabies: Remington, Oskar, and Felix

As many of you may or may not know, I love my dogs. I'll tell anyone who will listen all about my little furbabies. They're all mini dachshund's (although they'll probably tell you that they're big dogs!!) and they're all little devil dogs sometimes.

Without further a do, meet, 

Remington Longfellow Deeds Von Wilson

this little loverbee is my baby nemi, aka remington longfellow deeds von wilson. (see why we shorten it to nemi?) He's a five year old handsome man who enjoys pretending to be above playtime and rough-housing with his brothers. And yes, he is walleyed (:

Now let's meet double trouble!

Oskar Mayer Wilson(left) & Felix Unger Wilson(right)

I just had to share the group photo of these two first because a) it's adorable and b) I'm slowly but surely teaching Oskar how to pose for pictures and apparently sticking your tongue out is what came to mind for this one! How cute!


Felix Unger Wilson

Felix is the youngest of my furbabies ( only a few weeks behind Oskar!) but he is definitely the most relaxed. He takes a bit to warm up to people but once he does all he wants to do is give you love. His favorite things are love bites, which are kisses but he's so excited that he ends up biting your face a little bit. (We think he really just gets over excited and doesn't know what to do about it, thus love bites!) He's two and a half years old and enjoys kicking Oskar's butt in puppy wars and barking at squirrels. 



Oskar Mayer Wilson

Last but not least, let me introduce my puppy, Oskar. Don't let his cute face fool you, this dog is a straight terror sometimes. He enjoys making his mommy (me, in case you're confused) very angry by digging holes in the backyard, rolling in other dogs poo, and talking to you from the other side of the room. And yes, I do mean talking. He's also two years old but he has the mindset of a teenager and will be nice to anyone that looks his way.



So there you have it! Aside from my boyfriend and my dad, these are the leading men in my life. They mean the world to me and obviously, they love their mommy too (: 

- It's Okay: Thursday

It's that time again to link-up for another round of "It's Okay: Thursday." Last week was my first time participating in this link-up and I definitely felt better after a rousing round of self-justification. So here we are!

it's okay:

that I refuse to admit when I'm wrong or rather, when you're right. Being hard-headed is healthy, right?

to have bought yet another new nail polish to add to my collection.

on that note, it's okay to change my nail polish every day... I have the means to so.... carpe diem?

to look at my boyfriend and fully expect him to understand exactly what I mean. He knows me well enough that this shouldn't be an issue.

it's also okay to remind him at least 1509143 times a day that my birthday is in 3 days! That's Sunday if you'd like to send a card (; 

to subtweet a subtweeter. We all do it. At least mine is more readily "oh that's about me" than most. Have fun, sweetheart.

to wonder who your true friends are when things aren't going exactly how they'd like them too. Yeah, we hung out a lot at school, but I haven't really heard from you all summer...sooooo about that friendship.

to be infuriated that you would actually say that to a guy I'm friends with. Seriously. who does that. Ugh. So angry. SO angry.

-nail polish: the favs of the obsessed with essie

So, as some of you may or may not know, I am obsessed with nail polish. A friend of mine has a completely insane obsession that far surpasses mine, and by that I mean her collection literally takes up a 3x3 hanging wall shelf with five shelves to it. 



However, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites that I'm in love with right now (: 

No More Film- first off, I saw this color in Ulta and decided I HAD to have it. After I ordered it off Amazon and waited what felt like forever for it to come in, I am SO glad I made this purchase. It is the perfect deep purple for my collection!

Love & Acceptance- Another impulse purchase I just had to have. This picture is a little deceiving because it looks more purple than it shows on, but it is still an amazing shade. It's a lot more gray than purple, but it still has the hint of purple that makes it simply purrrrrfect. 

School of Hard Rocks- FAVORITE.SHADE.EVER. Again, little bit of a deceiving picture because it comes on darker than the bottle shows, but it is still amazing. I never in a million years thought I would ever love a shade of green as much as I do this ( it typically comes out looking like someone puked on my fingers) but this has an undertone of gray. 

Bobbing for Baubles- Honestly, this isn't my ideal shade as it is a little flat on the nail, more of a matte finish vs glossy, but it is still a must have. Black is my first & favorite/ go to nail color choice for any occasion, but every once in a while I need a simple change up. This deep navy is awesome for that. 

anyways,  these four colors are my current favorites that I keep cycling between, along with black of course! 

what are your favorite colors?

-currently v.1

-currently v.1

I've seen this on quite a few blogs and I thought I'd give it a go as a change of pace from my normal posts! I believe the initiator of this post is Siddathornton, check out her blog! Enjoy! 

------

reading - Article 5 It's a book I bought quite a while ago when summer first began and am just now getting the chance to start/finish. My guilty pleasure (50 Shades of Grey) may or may not have gotten in the way of reading it (; 

writing - blog posts and homework. How exciting, right? I'm taking the time to plan out a few posts so I won't have to struggle to come up with a post for you guys! As for the homework, classes started this week and whoever said the first week is the easiest was obviously not in my classes.

listening to gossip girl! I'm almost done watching every season for the third time. It's by far one of my favorite shows and makes for the perfect background noise. 

thinking - about how my birthday is in five days! I am SO excited and ready for it!!!! 

smelling - my vanilla candle! Since my room is still in disarray I'm trying to at least keep things a little nice. 

hoping - that my parents decide to let me upgrade my phone! I am so sick of having a completely out of date, useless phone that barely holds a charge.

wearing - my senior 2011 sweatshirt and yoga pants. It's my first day off in a while and I plan on enjoying it by not wearing real clothes/worrying about getting dressed.

loving -my boyfriend! He is seriously the most amazing person I've ever met and I'm soooo thankful for him.

wanting - the iPad back! I recently started playing Jurassic Park Builder on it and let's just say, I'm obsessed. My mom took it to work today and I'm going through massive withdraw. 

needing -to do something exciting! I'm happy to be home instead of stuck in Evansville, but then again I also need to do something different than I've done all summer. 

feeling loved, happy, excited, perfect.

clicking - blog posts...holllllllla

That's what's going on in my life currently, what's going on in yours?!

Dear love of my life:

Lately I've had a lot of posts about how things weren't going exactly how I think they should or how things aren't working out in my favor.

However, aside from a post about my absolute best friends and how lucky I am to have them, I haven't posted much about the love of my life (:


So here are a few things that he's done lately to make me smile/remind me how much he loves me.

1) You went to comic con in Chicago and among meeting your favorite people, got me an early birthday surprise of a poster signed specifically for me by Tom Felton!

2) Earlier this week we spent the entire day just cuddling and watching movies, specifically Jurassic Park!  

3) Despite all the stupid things that make me angry, you still find a way to smile and say I love you. 

4) Strike-Back! AKA New obsession! I'm SO excited for the next season! Even more excited that you're excited too!

5) TVD, two words, Ian Somerhalder. I know you're all "team steffan/klaus" but we both know that's just a ploy to cover your man crush on Damon. Love. 

6) Thanks for listening to me complain about my classes this semester....sooo thankful you were there to rescue me when I was having a breakdown.

7) Going with me to meet baby kitten Khloie Lennon even though you had to work early Sunday.

8) Letting me go on my political/historical rant with Phil. I know it's not your favorite thing to talk about but you listened like a champ and even had some input! 

9) Letting me say "pay attention to me" and wave my hand impatiently when you interrupt my stories. 

10)I love you<3 !

let's talk: politics

So as some of you may or may not know, I am a history nerd. When I say that, I don't mean, " I watch the history channel twice a week and totally keep up on current events." I mean, I love anything and everything related to history, including politics. However, it turns out that not many people appreciate things like that as much as I do, what a shock, right?! Needless to say I was completely taken aback when last night's meet the kitten hangout turned into a full on discussion about the current presidential candidates, appropriate ways to solve the party partitions, and the historical background for both the economic and current social standards. Talk about refreshing.


Normally I'm fairly good about keeping my opinions to myself, but every once in a while my mouth and brain stop speaking for a bit and suddenly my party is known.


Before we go any further, I feel like it's important for me to state that although I do register with a particular party, I am not by any means against voting for someone who is right for the job, but not in my particular party. I am not old school. I do not normally vote based on party (except for maybe in this upcoming election). I do not believe that voting based on a particular party will do anything but destroy the credibility of the president. Sounds weird, right? But let me explain that.

When our country was first formed the idea of parties was all but nonexistent. Yes, there were people with differing opinions, but it wasn't about the slander or the who slept with who nonsense. In fact, George Washington, the guy everyone celebrates, yeah, he didn't even want to be the Commander in Chief. Which is exactly what our country needed then and needs now. Someone who has the potential to lead and does not know it. George Washington was the first of a string of very successful, powerful men who ruled America with an Iron Fist and made decisions that weren't always popular. But that's what a presidency is about, making decisions that are for the good of the people, not making decisions that make people happy. 

( I know, I know, that still sounds weird.)

But think about it, if our entire presidential re-election or pick me session was focused on real issues that affect everyone and not just the super rich or the super poor, where would we be? 


That was our first point of discussion, history. Historically speaking, America makes the same mistake more than once on a fairly regular scale. Not to say we don't learn from them buttttttt........we do not. Neither of us were agreeing or disagreeing on that fact. Nor did we disagree that neither of the potential presidents weren't all that qualified to be running. All we could seem to agree on was that no matter the choice, it will only be slowing the inevitable. Our country is over run with a debt we simply can't get out of. No amount of soul selling or taxes invoked on the rich and poor will ever be able to pull us out of this mess.


And the worst part? We're the ones to blame. 

No, not my generation, not my parents, but everyone. Every.Single.Individual. is the reason we have debt and that it still climbs. 

We are a nation of wants that cannot be satisfied. We are a nation of greedy individuals who take until there is nothing left to see and even then, we take more. 

We print money so we can spend more. 
We eat more so we can justify sending a dollar a month to a country that doesn't even have food.
We spend and slop and repeat that cycle until there's nothing left to see. 

We're not perfect and we'll never be a perfect nation, but we owe it to ourselves to find someone who believes in the imperfect probability that we can succeed. 

Our issues aren't just historical and they aren't just individual. Our issues are a mindset that has been carefully bred into every American since we were first born. 

We ARE the best.


Now do not get me wrong, I fully believe that we are a highly intellectual, capable, deserving country for all that we stand for and work towards. But do I think we're the best we could be, absolutely not. 

I believe in the America that was founded over two hundred years ago. I believe in the America we praise in school. 


That's where we need to get back to.


And despite our political differences, that is one thing Phil and I could agree on. 

Sarcastic Q's

A friend of mine from work told me a joke that they use on customers sometimes. If someone is completely insane, they tell them they have an " I D 10 T" error in their computer. Classic.

Now, onto a few of the more enjoyable sarcastic e-cards of the evening.

Can I get an amen to this one?! I've dealt with so many completely ridiculous people as of late and frankly, I'm ready for them to all drop off the face of the earth. I feel like sometimes people assume that they are just the most glorious things to ever walk to the planet and honey, I've got news, that's just not true. 

Oh yes, if I could personally send this to a few different people, I absolutely would. Don't post about how every day in your life is like Jerry Springer if you don't want someone to comment about how you should keep your legs closed. Don't post about how sad you are if you don't want people to ask what's wrong. And if you do post it, don't say "it's not your business" when they ask. Facebook may ask what's on your mind, but let me be the first to tell you, nobody cares. 

Pet peeve: People who interrupt others. I can understand if they pause and you both start at the same time, that's fine. But the people who legitimately here and then we.... and use that as a prime time to start their favorite story of the day. Rude.

This last one is most certainly just hilarious and is absolutely something that would happen in my life.

I love cats. So much.

Friday's Letters

Dear B,  thank you SO much for everything you've done for me in the past few weeks. Letting me vent and rant and complain about all the stupid things that have happened has helped keep me sane. I love you<3

Dear Kat, I miss you. I hate that you already had to go back to IU....come back to me ):

Dear World, I hate you. I hate getting yelled at by mean people at work. I hate dealing with stupid questions. I hate dealing with school stuff. and I hate the fact that no matter what I do, it all seems to blow up in my face.

Dear Work, you're ridiculous and I hate you. Yep. I said it. I'm SO ready to not be there anymore. A year's a long time, right? Ugh.

last but not least,

Dear Parents, Thanks for finally leaving me alone about all this school stuff. That is all. 

It's Okay: Thursday

A friend of mine has link'd up with other blogs for "It's Okay: Thursday" a few times now and I've decided to give a whirl, so here it goes! 

It's okay that I have purchased the complete collection of two different television shows off Amazon in the past week. My favorite shows are now part of my collection and I fully intend on buying more soon. 

It's okay to still be unsure of this semester and even next. I'm basically starting over at square one with school and I think I deserve the time to make sure it's done right this time.

It's okay to have been in an awful horrible no good very bad mood this past week. It's even okay to take it out on people who annoy me. I may not always be a ball of sunshine, but at least I'm honest.

It's okay to play games in life. Games bring out the most fun in people and when they're harmless, well, all's fair in love and war. 


and last but not least:

it's okay to take a million pictures with one of your best friends before she leaves for school. after all: it's what we do.

So, let's talk about my best friends...

Lately my life has been one big hot mess and I have to say, I'm over it. More about that will be coming in a later post...


For now I want to take the time to post about some of the people who have been there for me throughout this whole mess. 

K- You were one of the first people I told about my decision to not return to UE and you've been nothing but supportive the entire time! I am so thankful for you and all that you've done for me.

KittyKat-You've been my very best friend forever and I am SO thankful that you've been here to help me through my boy issues and school drama. I can't put into words how lucy I am to have you in my life!

Brei- As much as it sucks that we won't be rooming together this semester due to my life changes, I'm lucky to still be able to say you're one of my best friends. You've supported me despite the ways it impacts you and for that I am forever grateful!

Mel- New friend love! Right when we first met it was obvious that we would become bffs. You've been totally supportive and helpful while I make these life changing decisions and you understand better than anyone! helllooo you've been there & done that! So so so so so thankful for you lovie!

Maxwell- Of course, what bff list would be complete without you?! Even though you'd already decided to transfer when I made my decision, you've still be super supportive and helped me realize I needed to do what was best for me! I love you!

Last but not least ( sorry, no picture to provide) 

Patrick- As weird as it is to say this, I'm so glad we are friends now! When we first reconnected at work at the beginning of the summer, I was skeptical about us even talking, much less becoming super close. Now I can't imagine a day without you! You put up with all my crazy ideas and whining (patrick, help!) and you even manage to get a supportive word out every now and then. AND you love elephants as much as I do! You're the best, biffle. 

So, that's my list! Minus my lovely boo ( who deserves a post of his own for his awesomeness) each of these individuals has been there for me 100% throughout all these changes. I wouldn't be where I am without them.

"a good friend knows all your stories, a BEST friend has lived them with you" -unknown

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it"

-Winston Churchill

Boyfriends, Best Friends and....Tom Felton?!

Can I just say again how lucky I am to have the most wonderful perfect fantastic boyfriend on the planet? 

Yesterday my love went up to Chicago for Comic Con to see all of his favorite nerdy people. I was so excited for him to go enjoy a day with his best friend/best friends dad. They all totally geeked out and were having a blast, even saw some of their idols, like Dean Cane ( the original superman) and Adrienne Curry ( Americas Next Top Model's FIRST winner.) okay, so maybe she's more like a secret fantasy than an idol (; 

While he was off enjoying himself I was stuck at work on what could easily be deemed the worst day ever. Nearly everyone called off and we were so busy that I couldn't even do my job of answering phone calls. Needless to say it was a relief to finally hear from B after his day of adventures. 

My boy is adorable as can be when it comes to surprises, because he can hardly wait to tell/show me whatever it is. So when I got a text saying something about an early birthday surprise, I had NO idea that he meant most fantastic surprise EVER.

Last week we'd all been joking about how Tom Felton would be there and both Melissa and I had commented that he was, our favorite person ever, so attractive. However, I guess we misunderstood the part about him actually being there or else we might have gone with them...So when I got a text from B yesterday saying he met Tom Felton, I so didn't believe him. So he sent me a picture of him! So.Much.Jealousy!

However, a few hours later he told me he had am early birthday surprise for me and he really really really wanted me to see it. 

Yep, that is a Tom Felton signed poster with my name on it. I guess in the process of meeting him, they also talked about their completely wonderful girlfriends and he was more than happy to make us even happier! Woohoo! 

Update-

So, I know I haven't been the most awesome person about keeping up with my blog, but in my defense, this past weekend was pretty darn traumatic. However, I'll start with the good part of the weekend and go from there! 

Friday: we had a fancy date night, and by that I mean Melissa and I decided we were going to dress up and the boys said "okay!" True to ourselves, fancy date night also meant pictures and pretending to be real fashionistas. 

Waiting on my boy, the obvious thing to do is take pictures!

Candid laughter

After my lovely boy arrived (he refused the picture idea, but no worries, we'll have one up soon!) We all went out to Mongolian and had an amazing dinner. Until that is the boys decided to ruin the conversation with horrible jokes and disgusting topics. Boys, what can you do?! 

We also went and saw Total Recall, which was actually really good! I fully expected some stupid boy movie about fighting and girls, but it kept me interested and was pretty well made. B makes fun of me for saying this, but it reminds me of Source Code in some ways! 

Now, onto the not so good parts of my weekend.

Saturday: Saturday started out great, I made it to work before the storm started and actually had fun. Until, that is, I received a text from my Dad informing me that our house had been struck by lightning! Not only that, but apparently one of the largest trees in our yard had been the grounder for the strike. Ridiculous! All the electronics in/on our house were instantly fried so they had to scramble to get all of the food out of the broken fridges and into coolers to try and figure out what to do.


We also had tree people out to cut off the splintered limbs that were just kind of hanging down from the tree. What they actually ended up doing was telling us that the entire tree needed to be cut down, which our insurance said couldn't happen until Monday. Keep in mind that this tree is next to my room.

Enter giant storms early early Sunday morning. At around 5:30 I woke up to the sound of heavy rain, wind, thunder and lightning..No big deal, right? Except my early morning wake-up also included the giant crack and slow motion sounds of that same tree from Saturday, crashing into our porch. Obviously, the part of me that wasn't dependent on my brain, ran for it and was at the staircase before the rest of the tree crashed onto our roof/my room. 

The logical thing to do would have been turn around and see if everything was okay. However, I ran straight to my mom & dads room screaming just as they were bolting out to go check on me/the house. Aside from a few scrapes on me, nobody was really hurt, which is a GIANT blessing. 

The house? Well, that's another story. Needless to say the weekend has been full of clean-up, 120ft cranes lifting a tree out of/off of my house, and remodeling. 



Here's a few pictures from the aftermath of having a 3 ton tree on our house:

you are danger with a smile




and I'm oddly okay with it.

Goodbye & Good Riddance

Dear YOU,

I used to think  that maybe there was a part of me that would always want you. That maybe you were that great love I'd never be able to move past

But you didn't care about me and to be honest, I doubt you ever will. I wasted so much of my time and energy on you and for what? A few nights of fun, a text whenever you remembered I existed? I gave up part of who I was to try and make myself fit into your life.

I should probably let you know that I would sit around and wait for a text I knew would never come, a date that would never really happen, and words that would never be said. I put my life and my self worth on hold because I truly  believed that you were the guy for me. I was completely and utterly fascinated by you. Maybe because you were so much older. Maybe because you looked at me and I felt wanted. Maybe because you let me cry on your shoulder on more than one occasion. 

I should probably also let you know that a part of me hates you. For wasting my time. For making me feel unimportant, irrelevant, and forgotten. I should probably tell you that no matter how many times a day you text me (ironic considering I don't live there now, but when I did I got nothing...) no matter what they say and no matter what you do, I won't allow myself to be with somebody who can never feel the same way I once did. 

I wanted the mystery and allure of somebody who answered to no-one and thus, cared about no-one. I wanted to be with someone who wasn't the safe choice, the right choice, or even someone who should have ever been a choice. You wanted someone to be at your beck and call at all hours of the night, and maybe a part of me wanted that too. You wanted a sleepover princess who snuck out before dawn, when all I really wanted was to be part of your world. 

Whatever the case may be for WHY I thought I wanted you, I have to say I'm grateful for it. You taught me what I deserve and shouldn't accept in a relationship, or lack there of. You taught me how to move forward even when it doesn't seem possible. 


I should probably thank you for that, without your constant disappointment and lack of emotion, I would never have been able to see what fantastic man had secretly been put in front of me. 
I should probably also tell you that, although I never told you this, I loved you. I was drastically in love with you. And Not the fairytale romance perfection kind of way, but the caught off guard swept me off my feet with a hockey stick and broke a few bones kind of love. The kind that leaves a piece of you broken afterwards. The kind that makes you regret even starting it. Not a great love. Not a good love. Not even an "I want to remember this" kind of love. No. This love I had for you took every remaining part of me and trashed it. But I didn't see that then. All I saw was the boy who took me by the hand and kissed me like he'd never kissed anyone else. 

You'll never understand why I felt like I had to say any of this or why you won't ever hear from me again, but here it is. On paper. On page. On email. On whatever it takes for you to read this and understand that I'm done. Even if you don't understand, whatever it takes for you to stop trying to pretend like you care. 

From the part of me that couldn't let go until now,

A

(p.s. I wish I'd been brave enough to walk away before it began.)