The Present Past

Caution: this is an assortment of angry rambles that might not makes sense.

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Ever had those days where the things you dislike most in the world tend to all show up at once? Yeah, that was Sunday. And when I say I was part of the "Bad Mood Club" I mean I wanted to annihilate the world. It was that bad.

I've been known for my not so wonderful moods. The ones where simply saying Hello can put me over the edge. It's not ever really the people presently in front of me who are causing this bad mood, though. More times than not, my less that peachy mood is due to the not so far off past coming back to hit me upside the head.


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Yeah, you all know what I'm talking about.

It started from a text and developed into a rant against the world. I don't know about you guys, but I do NOT like to be reminded of the times I was wrong, or did something stupid, or just anything. Fact of the matter is: I don't like to be wrong and I don't like to be reminded that I was.

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So fast-forward about six hours to me leaving work and driving home near tears all because of stupid fights that had no relevance to anything. Except of course, that I didn't want to be reminded of it. Just because a fifteen year old version of myself made a bad decision doesn't mean that the nearly twenty year old me will do the same in the situation. People grow and change and develop into more than who they used to be. I know, what a crazy concept, growth.

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The past is a tricky thing. A reminder of where we've been and often times of who we used to be. It's not always a bad thing, sometimes this reminder serves a purpose of grounding us back to reality. It's a hard thing to come to terms with, accepting the past and moving forward from it. It's something I've struggled with and until recently never thought I could do. But here I am. Moving forward and watching my life unfold. I'm fully aware that sometimes, shit just happens. However,  there's a very large portion of the time where I'm convinced there is an alarm clock that goes off to alert whomever when things are going well or as planned.

As Shakespeare so eloquently wrote:


 "Oh, you’re happy now, but I’ll ruin your happiness, for all my supposed honesty."
Othello:Act2Scene1